Ice Breaker Questions and Conversation Topics



What are ice-breaker questions and conversation topics for new engaged couples that they should ask each other?

After all the googley eyes, cooing, cudding, smooching,  incessant texting did you ask more incisive questions about their beliefs, values about topics such as in-laws, finances,  how to vacation, savings,  thoughts about what religion to raise your kids,  how to educate your kids and if you wanted to live in the city, the suburbs or the countryside?

You are probably aware that in many countries of the world engaged couples don’t really know each other before they get married. Well, that actually happens in every country.

Ice Breaker Questions and Conversation Topics for Engaged Couples

I’ve known men and women who “dated” for 6, 12 or even 24 months who were surprised at whom the person they married really was. A woman told me that after she was married for a couple of months, she found out her husband hated kids. A man wrote to me to say that he discovered several years into his marriage that his wife had been in prison.

Ice Breaker Questions and Conversation Topics for Engaged Couples

Ice Breaker Questions and Conversation Topics for Engaged Couples

Other men and women have been shocked to learn what their mate thought about sex, religion, careers, household work, money and the future. In fact, many of these differences have led couples to divorce court.

I believe a lot less couples would get divorced (or even not marry each other in the first place) if they actually knew each other well enough before they got married by asking ice breaker questions and engaging in these personal conversation topics. Engaged couples could cut down on a lot of their clashes if they knew more about their mate’s thoughts, beliefs and emotions. The best way to get to really know someone is with ice breaker questions about their values, beliefs and lifestyle choices.

Whether you have been dating for 5 months or have been married for 500 months, you absolutely must know your beloved’s answers to these questions

You need to use a certain amount of wisdom with these 1,000 questions. Someone who has just begun dating shouldn’t accelerate the relationship by starting off with questions on marriage and sex. If you don’t think you and your partner are quite ready to commit to one another, it would be best to start off with the questions on personality, your past experiences, favorites and perhaps pets. The best relationships are built on a solid friendship, so first address the questions that will help build that base.

Some people will want to answer four or five ice breaker questions in a sitting. Others might like to spend several hours and answer 50 or more. Some people will want to put the questions in letters and mail them to each other on the same day so their answers don’t influence each other’s. Those with computers might find email to be a good way to get to know each other (and even keep the emails for future reference).

Do not avoid certain conversation topics just because you find them uncomfortable or even embarrassing. Break down that communication barrier and learn to talk about those issues with your partner. If someone is unwilling to talk about certain issues, it should throw up a flag for potential problems down the road.

If you don’t think a question applies to you, ask it anyway. Your partner might have some interesting thoughts on the matter. What are some of the probing questions for engaged couples that I really like?  Out of the 1,000 questions just will give you a little taste.

  • Do you have a role model in your profession? What about them do you admire?
  • Do you screen phone calls before answering the phone? Can you let the phone ring during meals or when company is over or do you feel compelled to always answer it?
  • How long do you usually take to get ready in the morning?
  • Would you rather live modestly and retire modestly at 50, or would you rather live more extravagantly and retire modestly at 65?
  • If I were really bothered about you sharing our fights/disagreements with your friends and family, would you agree not to do it? Or would you agree to discuss it with them only if we couldn’t solve the problem on our own within a couple of days?
  • What are the pros for eloping? What are the cons? Does it sound appealing to you?
  • Are there any scents that turn you on?

    1,000 Questions for Couples

    1,000 Questions for Couples before saying ” I do”

  • Does a person’s sexual past matter if you really love them?
  • What do you think is the best way for couples to handle disagreements?
  • If the doctors detected that your unborn child had a severe birth defect and they could easily abort it, would you still have the baby?
  • Have you given any thought to how you would want to discipline your children during early childhood, adolescent years and the teen years?
  • What did your previous partners complain most about you?
  • Is there anything that you constantly worry about?
  • If someone tells you a juicy tidbit about a friend or coworker, do you have difficulty keeping it to yourself? Do you ever tell people they shouldn’t gossip?
  • If you were paid a salary to work for any one charity for an entire year, which charity would you choose?

 

A Yoga Teacher’s Review of Fifty Shades of Grey

My review of Fifty Shades of Grey

My review of Fifty Shades of Grey

Taking a break from my normal posts about yoga, wellness and other things holistic to talk about my new obsession which I share with about 35 million other people in dozens of other countries – Fifty Shades of Grey.

I’ve heard a lot about this book the last year and no doubt you have unless you were living in a tent in the Himlayas with no WIFI or contact with any other human being on the current planet.  I remember my friend a year ago was telling me about the book and I he could say all flushed and fevered looking was ” That book…. WOW!”  No much of a review and it didn’t really sell me on it.

So how did I end up buying this book?  I wasn’t seeking out to read it.  These days, most the books I read are non-fiction about business, marketing, yoga, health and wellness.  We had just bought some stuff on Amazon and the total was $42.  The shipping was about $16 unless your order total was $50 so I looked at the cost of the book, I needed something to read on the airplane for my flight out to San Diego anyway and found it for $8.   I didn’t think much of it and I wasn’t even that excited about starting to read it.

So about 3 weeks later I started it on my return flight from Philadelphia to San Diego, I actually had forgotten about it on my outward bound flight.  What a flight that was.  Even the whining and screaming of obnoxious toddlers on the plane couldn’t get distracted.  I was sitting next to a conservative looking woman on the first leg of my flight and for the second leg was seated next to a young man in his late 20s.  I felt kind of strange reading this book next to a strange man, I kept worrying that he would start to read my book along with me but it was too engrossing to put down or to care what anyone else thought.

What is it about this book with it’s kinky sex acts and with taboo subjects like bondage, submission, corporal punishment, enslavement, sadism, loss of innocence, and masochism that gets your soccer mom’s panties all in a twist?   When I put the book down for brief moments I felt myself completely lost in the Anastasia’s and Christian world, jet-setting, fine dining, private jets, masquerade balls in Seattle.

Who wouldn’t want to be the innocent and beguiling Anastasia Steele who utterly captivates the untamed and devilish billionaire Tycoon Christian Grey?   What would that be like to have a strapping 27 year old with abs and eyes like Ryan Gosling  (I vote for him to play him in the movie) courting, protecting, spoiling and obsessing over them?  What would that be like to have someone make sure all of your needs from your physical fitness needs in the form of setting up a personal trainer, your transport needs (a new Audi?  Guten Tag!) , personal beauty services arranged (waxing and haircuts at the privacy of your home arranged) as well as the finest and most expensive haute couture fashion bought for you (without you even having to go out and buy it…. the personal shopper comes to you) as well as having 24 hour security keeping you out of harm’s way?

It’s all the trappings of wealth, power  and status that attracts Ana to Christian but his dark past and obsessive jealous also suffocates her.

I am about midway through the trilogy.  I have finished the first book and am about half way through the second book. I’m sure a few days from now I will be half way through the third book.

Would it be worth it to you to lose your independence, sense of self and loss of boundaries of personal and emotional space to have an obsessive,  dark, demonic, torrid, all-engrossing and completely overwhelming and insanely jealous  life long love affair like Anastasia and Christian do?

1000 Questions to Married Folks at Classes for Couples

1000 Questions Married

1000 Questions Married Couples Should Ask before “I do”

What if you had asked your husband or wife 1000 questions before you got married?  What kinds of premarital counseling or classes for couples did you take if any?

Although I have a lot of issues with the Catholic Church stances on many issues, one modern practice that is to be commended is their practice of classes for couples before getting married.    How much do couples really dive in deep and ask uncomfortable questions about how they will live their lives together.  Do couples ask each other things like what temperature would you ideally want the house to be set at in winter and summer?  Another resource I love is 1000 questions before Marriage, which is a book that lists all kinds of questions like the ones below.  It also gives guidelines on when to ask the questions.

Other men and women have been shocked to learn what their mate thought about sex, religion, careers, household work, money and the future. In fact, many of these differences have led couples to divorce court. Married couples could cut down on a lot of their clashes if they knew more abQuestions for a future husband or wifeout their mate’s thoughts, beliefs and emotions. The best way to get to really know someone is with questions.

You need to use a certain amount of wisdom with these 1,000 questions. Someone who has just begun dating shouldn’t accelerate the relationship by starting off with questions on marriage and sex.

Obviously, you wouldn’t ask this to someone unless you are in a committed relationship or close to having one but at what point is it appropriate to start to bring these issues up?  How can you really know someone’s life  values, beliefs without really having deep conversations about them or having to experience them directly when you are thrust in the situation?

1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”

1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”

How often do you think we should take a vacation?  Would we take it just the two of us or would we leave the kids with grandparents or baby-sitters so we can just focus on the two of us?  Once we have kids, how often will we plan on having a date night with no kids?

What about the sensitive subject of in-laws?  How close or far away or close will we live from our families?  How involved do we want them to be in events like weddings, christianings, how we raise our kids, baby-sitting our kids?  Do we need them to call before they come over  ( if they live close by) or is it ok if they just knock on the door?  What kind of boundaries do we want with our extended families?  If we live far away, how often will we travel out to see them?  How often do we want them to come over and visit us?  Will they stay with us or at a hotel?

What about religion?  Will one of us convert?  Who will that be and how will that be decided?   If the other does not convert, how do celebrate religious holidays?  If the holidays falls around the same time such as Easter and passover or hanukkah and Christmas, how do we celebrate them?  For our kids, how do we teach them about both of our faiths?  Are we going to send our children to religious school?  What priority do religious holidays have in our lives?

What about money?  Will we share bank accounts or maintain separate ones?  Do we also have a joint account?  If there is a primary breadwinner does that person have more power and control over the household finances or do we share that equally?  Do we set a monthly budget?   How much savings will we have every month?  If one of us has a lot of debt do we pay that off jointly or individually?    How do we decide how to spend our money each month?  Should we run major purchases by each other first?  How do we decide what a major purchase is?

What about where to live?  Do we want to live in a house, condo or apartment?  Do we want to live in a more urban area, more suburban area or out in the countrywide? Do we want to live part of the time in one city and have a vacation home in another city or country?  Will we do our own yard-work or hire someone to do gardening?  How important is it to us that our house is in top condition?  Do we want to spend money on major repairs so that our house is always in top condition or is that less of a priority?  Will we do some repairs ourselves like painting and refinishing or will we hire someone to help us with that?

What about your social life?  Do we like to go out a lot to to restaurants, bars, dancing, movies and other cultural events or are we going to focus on savings and business matters and sacrifice going out as much?  How late do we like to stay out?  Do we like to go out just the two of us or do we prefer to go out with friends and family?  How often do we want to socialize with close friends and family?

What about health and wellness matters?  Are we going to spend more time and money on eating healthy and staying fit or are we going to relax in our off time and get prepared food and take-out?  Who is going to do the cooking and how will we decide that?  What kinds of foods do we want to eat on a regular basis?   Does one of us have any dietary restrictions and how accommodating will our mate be to them?

1000 Questions Before You Get Married

1000 Questions Before You Get Married

What about pets?  Do we have any allergies to pet?  If yes, then are you prepared to give up an animal or not have a certain kind of animal for your partner?   If we adopt a pet, what kind of  pet will we adopt?  How do we figure out how to share in taking care of it?  How much of a priority will out pet be?   Do we plan our day, vacations around our pet or take them with us?  If our pet starts to get sick will we invest a lot of money in taking care of it?     Will out pet sleep in our bed with us?  Are they allowed up on the furniture?

I believe a lot less couples would get divorced (or even not marry each other in the first place) if they actually knew each other well enough before they got married.

What are your thoughts on pre-marital counseling? What do you wish you had asked before you had gotten married?  Post your thoughts on our Facebook page.

 

Jasmine Kaloudis teaches many marriage retreats near Philadelphia  as well as romantic poses for couples  and is the author of the best spiritual websites list.

 

RECENT BLOG POSTS

  1. Sleeping with Your Enemy or Shooting Your Enemy? My Review of SaveTheMarriage.com
  2. 1000 Questions for Couples Before You Say “I Do”

 

 

Yoga poses for weight loss


yoga and weight loss, best  simple poses, exercises and asanas to doFor yoga and weight loss, what are the best simple poses( asanas) and exercises to do?

Are you sick of seeing that muffin top peering out of your tank top? Do you feel powerless to change your eating habits? I had never seen a yoga system specifically targeted towards weight loss so I was curious to see how Charry Morris’ Yoga Weight Loss System would work. The e-book is 58 pages long and peppered with pics and illustrations showing you how to do the yoga poses for weight loss and even an illustrated sequence guide is in the back.

One of my favorite things about this guide is the omission of sanskrit terms. I always thought it was intimidating to use the Sanskrit and not the English terms to describe poses. I have gone to more yoga classes than Lindsay Lohan has gone to rehab and I probably can only understand about 10 sanskrit terms, besides having heard them hundreds (some maybe thousands) of times.

Watch this video testimonial

I think the free report that Charry offers is incredibly pointed. Her suggestions are in simple but powerful language aided with illustrations and photos to help you understand yoga poses and how yoga works on different systems of the body to help you with weight loss (such as the musko-skeletal, endocrine, digestive, nervous etc). Even if you don’t buy her training manual, if you are committed to changing your health and body and want to learn more about how to take control over your level of vitality and wellness, then get the free manual. Have a buddy to practice with and check in on your new habits and practice to help make you more likely to stick to it. Give yourself a reward for every goal you get to (make the reward a facial and not fried chicken).

Yoga poses for weight loss

I think the questions at the end of each module are great for dealing with people’s emotional attachment to food. I think these questions would be even more powerful if you had a group or buddy who you could check in with and be accountable to.

One of Charry’s movement sequences

I like the simple diet modification suggestions. Her style of eating is very much in line with my philosophy. Eat foods in their natural state. Substitute water for soda and juice (which will end up saving you a lot of money as well) If you read the ingredients and don’t understand what Sodium Diloryll Dichromate is then it probably is a fancy word for pure toxic crap – so avoid ingredients that sound like your 9th grade lab project.

Yoga is ultimately a state of attuned inner awareness. By heightening our awareness of how we feel when we eat or avoid certain foods, we have more mastery over our diet. You can’t control what you have no awareness over. She doesn’t try to make you eat a raw, vegan or vegetarian diet, she just emphasizes cleaner ways of eating our meat, dairy and eggs.

She give suggestions for lots of viable substitutes for dairy. One thing that I wish was stressed more here was to avoid more refined

Charry Morris Yoga for weight loss ebook

yoga poses for weight loss

sugar, although she does mention the evil HFCS (High fructose corn syrup). If you are going to eat soy milk and yogurt if it is loaded with sugar then you aren’t doing your body many favors. Eating something with Stevia or some other kind of natural sweetener (evaporated cane juice and corn sugar are just marketing terms for highly processed toxic white sugar or HFCS) so stay away from them. Also equally toxic are thing like Equal and NutraSweet…these things have been proven to cause cancer in mice. You’re not doing your bod any favors with these either.

If you are confused about all this you might want to read the book “Sugar Blues”. If you don’t think that refined sugar has any strong negative effects on you then go three days without any refined sugar. You’ll have to read ALOT of labels at the grocery store…sugar likes to make it’s way into all kind of non-dessert food like ketchup and potato chips . You’ll probably feel a huge shift in your level of calm and awareness. Or you can do the opposite if you are not good at impulse control. For two days, eat nothing but Fruit Loops, Dunkin Doughnuts, Ben N Jerry’s Wavy Gravy, Starbucks Double Frappacinos with extra whipped cream, Diet Coke for every meal and snack and notice how crappy you feel (and probably look).

I think the exercise about examining your food habits is quite illuminating. Every day around 3 pm I have to have something sweet….these days I usually just microwave a small bowl of dark chocolate chips. It’s not a health tonic though.

The simple step by step instructions with pictures are so helpful. I like how she shows what your hands and feet should look like in certain poses…makes a huge difference in how the pose feels and the benefits you get from it.

What I really appreciate about this yoga training manual that is not often found in others is the modifications and suggestions for people that have certain injuries. When you are in table pose you should not hinge your neck back if you have neck issues.

Charry doesn’t assume everyone can physically do all the postures so the variations are very welcoming for beginners or for the stiff and inflexible. For the balancing poses, I think it is very helpful to have the close up of the feet and toes. It’s great to see a more challenging balancing pose and also an easier modification. You’re not auditioning for Cirque Du Soleil, you just want to get in balance health-wise.

If you do buy this manual, I would recommend going to a few traditional hatha yoga or vinyasa class so you can really learn the poses with expert supervision and the teacher can help you get into proper alignment so you get the maximum benefits from the pose.

After you feel comfortable with the basic poses, then you can use this guide to help you develop and refine your own personal practice. I was too poor to pay for classes a few years back (and the time it takes to get to classes was a drag) so for many years I just did my own practice at home, sometimes with a tape or a book or sometimes with no written or visual aids.

Before you start saying you don’t have time, money, space or privacy to practice just reflect on your excuses. Are you committed to your excuses or are you committed to changing your life? What will your life, body and health be like if you continue on the health path you are now on? Take on this program for one week and see what a difference you feel. If you regularly practice yoga already, what changes in your life did you notice when you started to make this a part of your life?